Would you refer me to someone?

Most people don’t refer you or things in general (like my book) because they forget. The rest don’t refer you because they’re not sure you’re worth the risk.

That’s the uncomfortable truth.

But what do most brands do? They ask, “Would you refer us?” and take the answer, “Of course!”, as gospel.

No follow-up. No action. No accountability. Just a warm feeling and a slowly dying business.

Let’s be clear: “Would you?” is a hypothetical. “Have you?” is a KPI. “Why not?” is a strategy.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot while promoting my book, The Only Creative Process That Matters. It’s been one of the most eye-opening projects of my career.

So many amazing people have supported it, bought it, shared it, messaged me. But some of the people closest to me didn’t lift a finger. Not because they didn’t care. Not because they didn’t believe in me. Because… life. Excuses. Indifference. Whatever.

One person flat-out said they would only support the book unless I sold it their way. On a specific platform. With the exact options they wanted.

I made it perfect. They kept their word. That’s not annoying. That’s data.

People support things when it’s easy, when it’s personal, and when they’re asked. They refer things when they feel safe, or excited, to put their name on it.

But most brands don’t get that far. They ask for feedback, not referrals. They chase NPS scores, not actions. They get stuck in the belief that word of mouth is a natural byproduct of “being good.”

It’s not.

Word of mouth is a campaign. A discipline. A grind. You earn it one ask at a time.

So here’s your permission slip:

Stop chasing compliments. Start chasing conversions. Ask the hard questions. Get curious about the real answers.

Not just “would you refer us?” But “have you?” And if not… “what would need to change for you to shout our name from the rooftops?”

That’s where the good stuff lives. That’s where referrals become revenue. And that’s the only creative process that really matters.